Bits, Pieces and Other Folks Snatches

Although a risky play, the crying game worked.

In our village, we teach our kids that you shouldn’t get what you want by crying. Apparently we now know that isn’t necessarily true. The same way we learned that oral isn’t really sex. I know because the President said so. Hillary was well advised when it was suggested after the planted question at the ladies tea in NH that she should work up a good show of emotion. Although an actual tear never happened, the effort to cry was enough. The angry ladies of NH who claim to have bumped their heads on the glass ceiling have spoken. Hilary’s disingenuous efforts work.

She’d be crazy to fire the adviser who led her to that gem. However, it probably would have better served the Clinton campaign to fire up the emotional play before Super Tuesday. Therefore, she will need to play a different emotion card since crying is now old school. The short list of political ploy cards to be played between now and 2/5: cramps, postpartum depression, sincere appreciation, 1st woman president.

U of A takes the phrase “Blowing your Nutt” to new levels.

Help please! The closest thing to a national football championship in Arkansas was a 1965 Cotton Bowl victory against Nebraska when the players still wore leather helmets (sort of) and Nixon was around. Things were as screwed up then as the BCS is now and sportswriters twisted that win up enough to convince all the folks here in Arkansas that they had actually won a national championship. Just because the Razorbacks are among the bottom feeders in the best football conference in America doesn’t mean they absorb football tradition, talent and become a magnet for major recruits. We have actually had morons on sports radio here reason that since Arkansas beat LSU, that they should be considered for a higher National rating better than 46th behind Appalachian State, who was able to do something Arkansas has never done in football, beat Michigan.

How about this as a great summary of how things are here: “Arkansas is a complete tragedy. Arkansas can’t do anything right. Arkansas couldn’t even fire the intensely fireable Houston Nutt, who bumbled around for years — losing winnable games and alienating blindly loyal fans — and still was begged to stay.

This is how bad Arkansas football has become: Houston Nutt took a paycut to leave … for Ole Miss.”

Link for those who give a rats ass: http://sportsline.com/columns/story/10521564

This being my token college football post is not meant to inflame the people here who have blind devotion to a less than mediocre sports program, but to simply state a fact: Arkansas is NOT a college sports powerhouse. They do however have a great agri department.

E Mail circulating among the rednecks here in the “Land of Opportunity” attempts to “warn” of Obama’s past. Yes, it was sure to happen sooner than later and it’s no surprise, this kind of crap is resurfacing. I’m not going to post the contents of the message, all of which is old news, but it does “warn” everyone of his religious past. Never mind the man joined a Christian church (even if for political reasons). If he was really a Muslim and he defected to Christianity and stated it publicly, that would go to show how serious his Muslim inclinations were if there were any at all. It also states some obvious and already disproved lies. Knowing that it’s easy to cut, paste and forward an email, even for an inbred redneck, we’ll be seeing more of this shit to be sure. Unfortunately, these are the same folks who forward shit to 10 of their friends then believe Bill Gates is going to hand them a free computer. My guess is that this stuff will be floating not only from the Right Wing Conspirators but also the Yellow Dog Democrats will be squeezing out a few Obama tidbits as well.

The South has traditionally been a Democratic stronghold. However, the fact that a black man is showing some promise as an electable candidate has thrown things into turmoil. The problem with rednecks these day’s is that they’ve seen too many movin’ picture shows that may go something like this: a terrorist is raised from childhood as the typical American boy, goes to high school and college, starts a business, marries an all American girl, has 2 kids, gets elected to a few local councils then ultimately makes it to the White House. All of a sudden things turn and this sleeper terrorist unleashes his minions on the world from within the walls of the White House. To make things worse, Obama isn’t the typical American boy that everyone thinks should be running for President, even those loyal Democrats.

When Obama’s wheels get rolling, there’s going to be big problems for the Democrats particularly here in the south. All of the black voters that have traditionally gravitated toward the left are going to see just how loyal the Democrats are to the black voter when the true feelings towards Obama and minorities surface. They’re going to realize that the black voters best interest was only an interest of convenience. My guess is that the Democrats of the South will vote Republican before they vote “black”. Even the Yellow Dogs may have a change of heart.

First, the Hillary lovers said (and I’m quoting a real HL here from a last Sunday discussion). “Just wait until she cries. All the people will say that means she’s too weak to be president, (just like Sleepy Edwards did when asked about Hillary’s episode). Others will say if she doesn’t cry, she cold and emotionless”.

I take a 3rd perspective, crying is a genuine show of emotion and because it’s true she has no emotions other than the pre-programmed ones she uses for politicing, this really couldn’t have been considered a cry as we know in the traditional sense. She didn’t actually work up a cry, it was more of a crackly throat with dry puffs of air poofing from her tear ducts. My guess is that her advisers suggested an attempt at emotion to woo in some fringe voters without showing weakness by actually producing real tears. The planted question (which coincidentally was reported to be the final question of the tea) was asked to get the tears rolling.

All of the angry feminists in that little coffee shop bought it and all were moved to dry tears and voice changes as well so the ploy may have helped for the moment.

I watched CNN’s unprecedented coverage of ABC’s debate. No surprises, I didn’t miss anything the first time except:

• Sleepy Edwards showed some balls and raised his voice a little, however this guy is shades of Jimmy Carter and no, not because of the annoying accent.
• I loved the Romney attacks from all the Republicans. They all got in appropriate shots and Huckabee was even praised by George Stephanopoulos for making an appropriate clean jab. Ron Paul was notably absent from the Romney attacks but that was about par because he seemed absent from the whole proceedings.
• The most telling thing about all 13 hours of that debate was the final “feel good-leave the debate on a humor moment” question. ABC’s Charles Gibson asked the candidates if there was one thing they said they could take back what would it be? Right before Hillary answered, I paused the DVR, put in a CD of dance music and began playing both. With one song and danced, she won a whole season of Dancing With The Stars with her answer. Of course she didn’t answer the question, she apparently has nothing to regret except that there is an opposition right wing conspiracy. I have to give credit to Richardson and Sleepy, they in the spirit of the question gave answers that did add a little closing fun. Disappointingly, Barack parroted Hillary and is possibly being set up to take next seasons “Dance With the Stars”.

After a few more appropriate shots in Romney’s direction, hopefully we’ll begin to see the smoke pouring from the engine and the wings beginning to dip slightly in an inevitable death spiral into the ground. I hope he packed his ‘chute.

I had lunch at my favorite (and only) local Asian Food restaurant. Up until the middle of December, this was a great place to eat. Sadly, I saw the beginnings of the end today. In mid December, they started an all you can eat buffet. Up until that point it was menu only. I stated when they first opened, this place will be fine until they open the buffet. What these well meaning folks fail to understand or ignore, is that instead of “all you should eat”, there’s a lot of fat bastards out there who take literally the phrase “all you can eat” and eat all they can. There’s no way a small business like this can accommodate all the pigs out there who have no hobby other than to eat. Inevitably, they will either have to close the buffet or worse yet, close an otherwise nice restaurant. The all you can eat buffet bring the pigs out of the pen and we actually had to sit somewhere other than our favorite table.

Today, I watched 2 fat slobs and their wives make at least 16 trips between them to our little buffet line. They were already snorting around in their plates when we arrived and they were there when we left. I know its all you can eat but does that mean they should gorge until you can actually see food packed in the back of their throat because it won’t go down any further. Additionally, these folks walk around holding their plates with this look of entitlement on their face. They complain the loudest when food isn’t available and if I were guessing they justify not leaving a tip because it was a self serve buffet and they had to haul themselves off of their fat ass to be served. Look around: in shape people are a minority and gluttony is a sport in America. There’s no way we can take an idea that came about when people weren’t as big and greedy like an all you can eat buffet and make it work today.

The following is from MSNBC and shows how frustrating dealing with fat folks who blob around with this sense of entitlement can be. This restaurant will probably shut down.

All you can eat buffet bans ample appetites, big eaters expelled: This is weighty matter: A 265-pound man says a Louisiana restaurant overcharged him for his trips to the buffet, then banned him and a relative because of how much they consumed during their visits.

Ricky Labit, a 6-foot-3 disabled offshore worker, said he had been a regular at the Manchuria Restaurant located in Houma, eating there as often as three times a week. But on his most recent visit, he said a waitress gave him and his wife’s cousin, Michael Borrelli, a bill for $46.40, roughly double the buffet price for two adults.

“She says, ‘Y’all fat, and y’all eat too much,’” Labit said.

Labit and Borrelli said they felt discriminated against because of their size.

“I was stunned, that somebody would say something like that. I ain’t that fat, I only weigh 277,” Borrelli said.

LINK http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22487819/

That last line is a sad comment on the state of American waistlines. The fat bastards ought to lose weight so the discrimination will stop. By the way, I had the buffet.

So I didn’t.  I watched my stored up selection of DVR’ed episodes of the Rockford Files.  They’re not going to answer a question any differently that hasn’t already been asked.  They can throw in a few more adjectives and maybe Mitt won’t have to pause for 8 seconds before answering  since he has his lines down by now.  However, he may take a new stand on the issues that matter we hadn’t heard before.  If it matters the next debate worth watching will be the one among the nominees for both (or all) parties.  Anything else is just the same old same old.

BY THE WAY:  Bill Bradley (Republican) endorses Obama as the candidate that truly appeals to all ancd can unite our country.   I think we’re on to something here.

We knew that anyway but as it was put last night “70% of the people voted against Hillary”. Sleepy McEdwardcocktosen even came in 2nd and Mr. Obama won the whole thing. And I mean the whole thing (Dems and Reps). Not to sound too mushy, but his speech was one of the best and most inspiring I’ve heard. It took him a while to come out but I figure he was watching Hillary’s on TV and took her best line or 2 and incorporated them into his speech. There were no tele-prompters and I don’t think his speech writers had enough time to hammer out something as good as that and he didn’t have enough time to memorize anything. I really think that came from the heart. Mike Huckabee did a good job too. Not just with kicking Mitts ass but his speech was decent as well. He better enjoy last nights limelight because I’m guessing it’s ass-kickings from here on out. I just hope John McCain can keep distracting Romney by leading in the polls causing Romney to stir up a bunch of negative ads and continue to fail at addressing real issues.

I hope and pray the Democrats and the voters give Obama a chance and don’t fall for Hillary’s bull shit. The 2nd place Democrat will be circling the bowl soon so he’s not really an issue. Everyone talks about needing change in the Washington. 4 years of Clintons isn’t it, 4 years of Lilly-white Republican party-liner phony Romney isn’t it and unfortunately I don’t think John McCain is it either. Huckabee is different but he’s up against his own party and will never make it past February 5th.

If the election were today, Obama has my support. However, it’s not today and in the spirit of American Idol, we will probably be voting off a lot of perfectly good political talent between now and November. Besides, Obama has lots of time to screw up by allowing too much influence from Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson. We’ll have to see. Biden, Dodd, Kuchinch, who have no talent at all are heading home. Soon Richardson (who?) Rudy and Paul will be gone, then Huckabee and hopefully Romney and Clinton leaving Obama, McCain or Thompson. Fred Thompson is my Sanjaia mostly because his trophy wife will inspire a lot of votes, but he won’t make it to the final Dance off Sing off.

Another Obama line I look forward to hearing at the UN “Give it up for…”

Frederick Herman Jones discovered as Romney son Josh

I typically don’t like to do a lot of name calling and taking cheap shots. Poor Mrs. Huckabee is taking a beating in the “Hottest First Lady” election. But this one I couldn’t leave alone. Yeah it’s cheap and immature but there’s something about Josh.

Watching Larry King is difficult enough but when his grumbling is interspersed with an interview of Mitt Romney’s 6th or 7th son Josh, it’s all I can do not to choke on my own vomit. Because, as Iowa voters have clearly shown no one cares about Romney, CNN chose not to show his concession speech to Huckabee. I figure Larry thought Mitt wouldn’t be interesting enough for his own show either so he invited son Josh to speak on behalf of his father. I realize that we have now discovered what happened to the original Fred from the Scooby Doo cartoons. Mitt and his wife must have adopted Fred after he lost his job with Mystery Inc back in the 70’s or 80’s and renamed him Josh. Why he was not wearing his trademark Ascot during the King interview is unknown to me. He also looks like that preppy prick from Animal House, Doug Neidermeyer which would make a lot of sense.

By the buy, if the Romney family doesn’t perfectly exemplify Lilly white, stuck up, upper class, republican loyalists, I’m not sure what does. Josh’s used motor home cost more than my home. He’s a Harvard business school graduate and a real estate developer. Three other Romney’s , Josh, Tagg and Matt, also graduated from Harvard Business School; one, Ben, is in medical school; and the youngest, 25-year-old Craig, is a music producer in New York City. Where do I see representation from this bunch. If there’s no illegals to do their yard work, they hire people like me. That march with blacks that the Romney’s mistakenly thought his dad was in was instead his dad walking past the help to get to his car.

It’s ashame she can’t get those kids in bed before 10:50pm. They were out riding in cop cars at 11.

FROM THE NEWS TODAY: Officers were called to Spears’ house around 8 p.m. to respond to the custody dispute with ex-husband Kevin Federline over their sons, 2-year-old Sean Preston and 1-year-old Jayden James, Lee said.

By about 10:30 p.m., six police cars, two ambulances and a fire truck had entered the gated-community that includes Spears’ house. Several police cars were seen in the area earlier in the night.

Spears turned over the children around 10:50 p.m., Lee said.

You know that bunch of French Idiots that tried to kidnap that busload of African kids?  They would do well to come and take the Federspears kids away too.  Even taking them to France would be better than this shit.

Mitt says that Mike Huckabee is more interested in California voters because he made an appearance on the Jay Leno Show. That goes to show you that this ass hole is as clueless as Huckabees foreign policy. Leno’s show is seen across America and even in Iowa. I thought it was a good move. I saw it and thought it was a great appearance and I’m a voter living in the middle of nowhere.

ABC news did a cutting edge piece and asked most of the candidates what their secret indulgences were and Mitt said his was gnuetella or some other crazy shit. Isn’t that the file sharing program that people use to illegally share MP3’s or porn? Figures. He says he’s all up for change but has a big problem when anyone strays off party lines and criticizes the Bush administration. That sounds like he’s happy with what’s going on in Washington and probably won’t change a thing if elected. This phony has been critical of other candidates misunderstanding of current events and has been quick to criticize when others screw up. We have to remember that this poser has hired a staff of hundreds to monitor everything going on then prepare him with the right thing to say at the right time. Others, spending 22 hours a day shaking the yokels hands in Iowa, don’t have much time to look at a newspaper or spend hours in front of a news network to have a clear idea of whats going on. Oh yeah, and I wonder how long Romney spends plastering “product” on his phony TV preacher haircut.

While watching the network news yesterday I was excited over the prospect that we could have a president that actually says “Das what I’m talkin’ ’bout’. I can see the speech at the UN panning out now. Obama said his secret indulgence was Occasional Cigarettes. Does Phillip Morris make them?

One Iowa geezer said it was time we elected a woman president because the men haven’t done so well lately. This is also why we shouldn’t put much importance on what Iowa thinks. This old geezer didn’t mention that we’ve never had a black president either. I guess he was referring to Hillary and I noticed his old lady was sitting there next to him with a fork in her hand. Remember the woman is a Clinton and for the last 20 years we have had Bush Sr (4)., Bill for 8 years, Bush 2 for 8 years now we want another Clinton for 4 more years minimum. This isn’t change. Hell, Bill will be eligible for office again after 2 terms of Hillary so in theory, for the next 16 years it’s Clinton’s to 2024. Except for flying cars and off-world colonies, the world portrayed in Blade Runner is looking to be a sure thing.

Hillary’s secret indulgence was a safe choice: no risk chocolate, more specifically dark chocolate. Yeah, fill in the tasteless Obama joke here but actually this is a long time Clinton strategy, safe and what the public wants to hear. They showed her serving coffee to a bunch of reporters. I’d love to see her do it if elected President.

The third place Democrat, Edwardson or Edcocktosen (or whatever) said his indulgence was sleeping in. That explains why he looks like he’s sleep walking all the time. In another piece, he was bragging about his packed house audience he had at one campaign stop. Well, it was actually a packed house, or more specifically a packed dining room with 20 or so Iowans hunching each other.

No surprise here, Chris Dodd liked wine. All we need is another drunk Kennedy in office.

Way to go Mike, not showing your attack ad was classy. That’s the one I saw on all the national news networks about a million times. And for only the cost of production. Hey, we all know Mitt Romney is a ass-hole. He’s as real as his religion. You don’t need to sneak in an ad to tell us that. Tell us more about that consumption tax idea that you never proposed here in Arkansas for the 10 years you were Governor. Yeah yeah foreign policy is important but Mike may be more in line with the American public than one realizes. A week after the Benazir Bhutto assassination, I had a co-worker exclaim “Bhutto was a woman?”. Besides, Hillary thought Pervez was on the same ticket and Bhutto was running against him.

John McCain I think he liked… well I don’t care.

Fred Thompson liked cigars. Illegal Cuban cigars. For the time being, I’m pulling for Fred Thompson because he likes cigars. In reality that’s all I’ve heard from him.

As for our Crackpot from Texas: Ron “Bring Back the Gold Standard” Paul. He’s my Vote For the Worst candidate. In the spirit of Sanjaia Malikar, let’s keep him going in 2008 so we can see what others brilliant ideas and performances he has up his sleeve. Has Dennis Kucinich and his hooker wife been voted out yet?